Healthy Love- Development of self first (you know who YOU are and what you are about).
Unhealthy Love-Obsession with relationship.
Healthy- Room to grow, expand; desire for the other person to grow.
Unhealthy- Security, comfort in sameness; intensity of need seen as proof of love (may really be fear, insecurity, loneliness).
Healthy-Separate interests; other friends; maintain other meaningful relationships.
Unhealthy-Total involvement; limited social life; neglected old friends, neglected interests and hobbies.
Healthy-Encouragement of each other's expanding; secure in own worth.
Unhealthy- Preoccupation with other's behavior; fear of other person changing.
Healthy- Appropriate trust
Unhealthy- Jealousy; possessiveness; fear of competition.
Healthy- Compromise, negotiation, or taking turns at leading. Problem solving together.
Unhealthy- power plays for control; blaming; passive aggressive manipulation.
Healthy- Embracing each other's individuality.
Unhealthy- Trying to change other to own image.
Healthy- Relationship deals with all aspects of reality.
Unhealthy- Relationship is based on delusion and avoidance of the unpleasant.
Healthy- Self-care by both partners; emotional state not dependant on other's mood.
Unhealthy-Expectation that one partner will fix and rescue the other.
Healthy- Loving detachment (healthy concern about partner, while letting go)
Unhealthy- Fusion (being obsessed with each other's problems and feelings).
Healthy- Ability to enjoy being alone.
Unhealthy- Unable to endure separation; clinging.
Healthy- Cycle of comfort and contentment.
Unhealthy- Cycle of pain and despair.
Showing posts with label Dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dating. Show all posts
June 8, 2012
"What-not-to-do" in relationships
Communication Barriers
1. Ordering, Directing, Commanding
2. Warning, Admonishing, threatening
3. Moralizing, preaching, obliging
4. Advising, giving suggestions or solutions
5. Persuading with logic, arguing, instructing, lecturing
6. Judging, criticizing, disagreeing, blaming
7. Name calling, ridiculing, shaming
8. Interpreting, analyzing, diagnosing
9. Withdrawing, distracting, humoring
10. Reassuring, sympathizing, consoling, supporting
11. Probing, questioning, interrogating
1. Ordering, Directing, Commanding
2. Warning, Admonishing, threatening
3. Moralizing, preaching, obliging
4. Advising, giving suggestions or solutions
5. Persuading with logic, arguing, instructing, lecturing
6. Judging, criticizing, disagreeing, blaming
7. Name calling, ridiculing, shaming
8. Interpreting, analyzing, diagnosing
9. Withdrawing, distracting, humoring
10. Reassuring, sympathizing, consoling, supporting
11. Probing, questioning, interrogating
Dating Violence Prevention
Red Flags for Dating Violence:
Jealousy and possessiveness, isolates from others, checking up on partner, hypersensitive, history of violence, pressures for intimacy, abuses drugs or alchohol, threats of violence or suicide, blames others for actions, uses force in an argument, others warn you about them.
Dating Rights:
I have the right to: be treated with respect, my own body and property, my own opinions and to express them, have my needs be as important as my partner's, not take responsibility for my partner's behavior, keep my friends, grow as an individual, change my mind, determine how much time I want to spend with my partner, pay my own way, assert myself, not be abused physically, psychologically, or sexually, break-up, fall out of love, or leave any relationship.
Safe Harbor Crisis Line: 1-888-241-1100
Victims of Dating Violence:
You need to know that the abuse is not your fault.
You do not deserve to be abused.
You cannot change someone who is abusive.
Staying in the relationship won't stop the abuse.
Over time, the abuse will get worse.
Make a safety plan & use it before the abuse happens again.
Forms of Abuse:
Physical: actions which cause physical pain or injury such as kicking, pushing, or punching.
Emotional: actions which cause loss of self-esteem and create fear such as name calling, swearing, criticizing, and isolation or threats.
Sexual: acts of a sexual nature that are illegal, unwelcome, or uncomfortable.
Safe Harbor- Davis Citizens Coalition Against Violence
Information taken from Attorney General's Safe at Home Program
Jealousy and possessiveness, isolates from others, checking up on partner, hypersensitive, history of violence, pressures for intimacy, abuses drugs or alchohol, threats of violence or suicide, blames others for actions, uses force in an argument, others warn you about them.
Dating Rights:
I have the right to: be treated with respect, my own body and property, my own opinions and to express them, have my needs be as important as my partner's, not take responsibility for my partner's behavior, keep my friends, grow as an individual, change my mind, determine how much time I want to spend with my partner, pay my own way, assert myself, not be abused physically, psychologically, or sexually, break-up, fall out of love, or leave any relationship.
Safe Harbor Crisis Line: 1-888-241-1100
Victims of Dating Violence:
You need to know that the abuse is not your fault.
You do not deserve to be abused.
You cannot change someone who is abusive.
Staying in the relationship won't stop the abuse.
Over time, the abuse will get worse.
Make a safety plan & use it before the abuse happens again.
Forms of Abuse:
Physical: actions which cause physical pain or injury such as kicking, pushing, or punching.
Emotional: actions which cause loss of self-esteem and create fear such as name calling, swearing, criticizing, and isolation or threats.
Sexual: acts of a sexual nature that are illegal, unwelcome, or uncomfortable.
Safe Harbor- Davis Citizens Coalition Against Violence
Information taken from Attorney General's Safe at Home Program
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)