Physical Appearance

Show the class the following pictures.  Ask them to write down their assumptions about what kind of a person each of these people are.  For example: nice, cares about people, unhappy, smart, mean, uneducated, poor, wealthy. 

 

Explain to the class that people make judgements about others to protect themselves.  We are taught from birth to look for certain characteristics in people who are going to treat us nicely.

Labeling others is an instict.  We need to be aware of it so we can control our reaction to others.

Post the following questions on the board or read them aloud.

Ask students to silently reflect on them:

• Have you ever been on the receiving end of a cruel comment about your physical appearance?

• Have others let you know, in some way, that you’re not good looking enough?

• Do you find clothes shopping unpleasant because of fears about how others will judge you?

• Have you ever skipped an activity to avoid comments about your appearance?

• Do you think often about dieting because of comments about your weight?

• Have you considered changing your hair or other aspects of your appearance to look better to others?

• Have you ever made cruel comments to others about their appearance?

Point out that, unfortunately, most of us would answer yes to at least one of the questions above.

Name-calling about physical appearance—such as body size or shape, skin complexion, or facial features—is terribly cruel, yet all too common. 

-Challenge students to look for the POSITIVE characteristics in everyone.

see Realtional Bullying or Healthy Relationships

Media Messages about Beauty

Materials:

pens, pencils

prepare magazine cut outs of advertisements with models/actors

Discussion:

Point out to students that one way in which we get our ideas about what is attractive is through the media. Movies, magazines, television, and even video games often communicate unrealistic ideas about body image, and put pressure on us—even if we aren’t aware of it—to look a certain way. Display the following statistics on the screen, a handout, or write them on the board.

• A study of over 4,000 television commercials revealed that 1 out of every 3 to 4 commercials

sends some sort of “attractiveness message,” telling viewers what is or is not attractive. The average teenager sees over 5,000 “attractiveness messages” each year.

• One study found that teens who watch soaps and TV shows that emphasize the ideal body type report a higher sense of body dissatisfaction than other teens. This was also true for girls who watched music videos.

• Another study found that identification with television stars (for girls and boys), models (for girls) and athletes (for boys), is related to their unhappiness with their bodies.

• In a study of fifth graders, 10-year-old girls and boys told researchers they were unhappy with their

own bodies after watching a music video by Britney Spears or a clip from the TV show, Friends.

• A psychological study in 1995 found that three minutes spent looking at models in a fashion

magazine caused 70% of women to feel depressed, guilty and shameful.

Ask students to respond to these statistics and to comment on the extent to which they think they are affected by “attractiveness messages” they receive on a daily basis. Tell students that one way to resist some of the media’s false messages about appearance—and their effect on our self-esteem and behavior toward others—is to become media literate. This means thinking about the values behind media images, raising critical questions about them, and being aware of who created them and for what purpose.

Pass out magazines or find examples of articles or beauty advertisements.  Have students write and discuss their answers to one or more of the following questions:

1. Who created the magazine (or show, video, movie, etc.) and for what purpose?

2. How many and what type of “attractiveness messages” were communicated? (These can be verbal, types of people or characters, gestures or expressions, types of clothing, etc.)

3. Do these messages reflect real life and real people in your community?

4. What are the values or beliefs behind these messages? Do you agree with them?

5. What techniques are being used to get you to buy into the messages?

6. How might these messages affect your own or others’ attitudes about physical appearance?

7. What important images or messages have been left out?

Self-Esteem

How To Raise Your Self-Esteem

By Stanley J. Gross, Ed.D

Have you wondered about what self-esteem is and how to get more of it? Do you think your self-esteem is low? Do you know how to tell? Do you know what to do about it?
Self-esteem answers the question, “How do I feel about who I am?” We learn self-esteem in our family of origin; we do not inherit it.
Global self-esteem (about “who we are”) is normally constant. Situational self-esteem (about what we do) fluctuates, depending on circumstances, roles, and events. Situational self-esteem can be high at one moment (e.g., at work) and low the next (e.g., at home).
Low self-esteem is a negative evaluation of oneself. This type of evaluation usually occurs when some circumstance we encounter in our life touches on our sensitivities. We personalize the incident and experience physical, emotional, and cognitive arousal. This is so alarming and confusing that we respond by acting in a self-defeating or self-destructive manner. When that happens, our actions tend to be automatic and impulse-driven; we feel upset or emotionally blocked; our thinking narrows; our self-care deteriorates; we lose our sense of self; we focus on being in control and become self-absorbed.
Global self-esteem is not set in stone. Raising it is possible, but not easy. Global self-esteem grows as we face our fears and learn from our experiences. Some of this work may require the aid of a psychotherapist. In the meantime, here is what you can do:

• Get sober. Get help through 12-step groups to stop self-destructive behaviors. Addictions block learning and drag down our mood. Identify them and replace them with self-care.
• Practice self-care. Make new lifestyle choices by joining self-help groups and practicing positive health care.
• Identify triggers to low self-esteem. We personalize stressful events (e.g., criticism) by inferring a negative meaning about ourselves. A self-defeating action often follows. Each event can, instead, be a chance to learn about ourselves, if we face our fear of doing so and the negative beliefs about ourselves that sustain the negative meanings.
• Slow down personalizing. Target personalizing to slow impulsive responses. You can begin to interfere with these automatic overreactions by using relaxation and stress management techniques. These techniques are directed at self-soothing the arousal. This allows us to interrupt the otherwise inevitable automatic reaction and put into play a way to begin to face the unacknowledged fears at the root of low self-esteem.
• Stop and take notice. Pay attention to the familiarity of the impulse. Our tendency is to overreact in the same way to the same incident. Awareness of the similarity can be the cue to slow our reactivity.
• Acknowledge reaction. Verbalize, “Here I go again (describe action, feeling, thought) . . . ” Actively do something with the awareness rather than passively note it. The result is to slow the impulse and give ourselves a choice about how we want to respond.
• Choose response. Hold self-defeating impulses. Act in a self-caring and effective way. By choosing to act in a more functional way, we take a step toward facing our fears.
• Accept impulse. Be able to state the benefit (e.g., protection) of overreaction. We won’t be able to do this at first, but as we become more effective, we will begin to appreciate what our self-defeating impulse had been doing for us.
• Develop skills. We can provide for our own safety, engender hope, tolerate confusion, and raise self-esteem by learning and using these essential life skills:
  • Experience feelings. “Feel” feelings in your body and identify your needs. When we do not respect our feelings, we are left to rely on what others want and believe.
  • Optional thinking. End either/or thinking. Think in “shades of gray” and learn to reframe meanings. By giving ourselves options, we open ourselves to new possibilities about how to think about our dilemmas.
  • Detachment. End all abuse; say “no” to misrepresentations and assumptions. By maintaining personal boundaries, we discourage abuse by others and assert our separateness.
  • Assertion. Voice what you see, feel, and want by making “I” statements. By expressing our thoughts, feelings, and desires in a direct and honest manner, we show that we are in charge of our lives.
  • Receptivity. End self-absorption; listen to others’ words and meanings to restate them. In this way, we act with awareness of our contribution to events as well as empathize with the needs of others.

Presenting

Your Life

"You are the STAR of your life story. Each day you contribute to the sctipt." -Vicki Phillips

Negative Thoughts

A Self-Assessment

Thoughts That Weigh Me Down

Rate all those that fit what you have thought.
1- one to two times a year
2- Every couple of months
3- Every month
4- every couple of weeks

__It doesn't pay to get close to anyone, because that person will get hurt too.
__I don't care about anything anymore.
__I'll scare all of my friends away if I don't stop crying or thinking about this all of the time.
__It's not right for me to have fun now.
__I can't let anyone know how I really reacted when it happened.  I'm ashamed.  I'll be made fun of or called stupid.
__I can't do anything right anymore.
__I feel like I'm going crazy.
__I have to take care of myself.  No one else will.
__I should be over this by now.  There is something wrong with me.
__It's best I keep it all to myself.
__There's no point in trying anymore.
__There is nothing else I can do.

Add up your ratings.  How high was your score?  How do you feel about it?  Set a goal to lower that number by increasing the positive thoughts about yourself and your life.