Making Friends Activity

Purpose: To identify how to get to know new people and make friends

Materials:
Newsprint and markers or board and chalk, masking tape

Time: 40-50 minutes

Planning Notes:

• Create a poster of the instructions in Step 6.

Procedure:

1. Say that there are times when participants will want to make new friends or become friends with someone who is only an acquaintance. Ask for examples of situations when that is likely to happen. (Examples include, but are not limited to: starting at a new school; having a best friend move away; joining a team or club; losing a friend to drugs; going to a party with a new group of people; or feeling like old friends have different interests now.)
2. Write the following phrases on the board, creating two columns:
   YES! Could be friends NO! Could not be friends
3. Ask participants to imagine themselves in a situation with a group of teens their age. How do they decide whom they would like to know? How do they decide who could be friends and who could not be friends?
4. Brainstorm what adolescents look for when meeting new people, things that help them decide they want to make friends with someone. List their responses under “YES! Could be friends.”
5. Next, brainstorm things that tell the teens that they do not want to make friends with someone. Remind the group not to say anything that would hurt the feelings of anyone else in the group. List their responses under “NO! Could not be friends.”
6. Divide into small groups of four or five. Distribute two sheets of newsprint and markers or chalk to each group. Post the instructions you already prepared:
• As a group, describe two imaginary new students at your school (one male, one female) with whom you would be interested in becoming friends.
• Include what you might look for (such as personal characteristics, background, skills, and interests) if you were to make friends with these two people.
7. Allow participants 10 to 15 minutes to work in groups, then ask each group to post its descriptions on the walls.
8. Have the adolescents move around the room, reading each group’s descriptions. Ask each of them to choose the two imaginary students (one male and one female) they would be most interested in meeting, based on the descriptions written up by the groups. Then ask them to return to their seats.
9. Ask volunteers to share their choices and the reasons the imaginary potential friends are appealing.
10. Make summary comments to help participants reflect on their choices. (For example, point out if no group described a new friend who has a physical disability; indicate if most people chose a friend from their same cultural background, gender, race and so on.)
11. Conclude the activity using the discussion points below.

Discussion Points:

1. What did you learn about your choice in friends?
2. Are your best friends similar to the new friends the groups described? Does anyone have a close friend who does not match any of the descriptions? What is special about that person?
3. Are there any qualities of a new friend that might be misleading—a quality you find appealing when you first meet someone, but later discover does not make him/her a good friend? What about the reverse—qualities that at first are not appealing, but become important?
4. What could you talk about when you first meet someone you would like to get to know?
5. What are the three worst things someone could do when you meet for the first time, things that would make you unwilling to be friends?
6. How do you let others know you are open to meeting new people and making new friends? What would make them think the opposite is true?
7. How can you help youth who are new to your school or community to feel more welcome and comfortable? (Answers include, but are not limited to: introduce yourself and say something friendly; invite her/him to join in group activities with your current friends; eat lunch with him/her; offer to help explain things that may be confusing, like how the bus system works or how a particular teacher gives grades.)
8. In your circle of friends, are there things that make it difficult for newcomers to be accepted? If so, please explain. What would make it easier for adolescents to establish friendships within your circle of friends? What could you do to help? Have you ever brought a new person into your circle of friends?
9. What happens when one person wants to be friends and the other does not?

Life Planning Education, Advocates for Youth, Updated 2009